5 years! Yes, it’s gonna be 5 years of being in a relationship, next month. And I wonder, what had it been that tied us together for so long? Now, I normally do not discuss my relationships on my blog. But her last 2 blog posts, kind of, got me carried away.
It’s been a while since she got bit by the “marriage” bug. No, I am not complaining. As a matter of fact, it was actually me who had first started speaking about it. It was me who started weaving the “future“. It was me who started making “plans” and even executing them. But then, hey, aren’t guys supposed to be the ones to shy away from the M word? Then, what was I thinking?
The fact is, I got tired. I got tired of seeing her go away, every single evening. I got tired of trying to pay attention to her whispers, every single night. I got tired of not being able to drift off to sleep, in her arms, without keeping an ear on the ticking noise. I got tired of staying miles apart, checking out for cheap flight tickets and wondering if I could just plant a kiss on her lips, next weekend. Yes, I even got tired of waiting for weekends, to be able to make plans of meeting up. Yes, I got tired!
I wonder, how do people do it? How do they stay in a relationship and yet not stay together? I wonder, how can you sleep all alone, every single night, when you know there’s someone out there thinking about you, wishing you by the side, wanting to ravage you the next time you get to meet? I wonder how couples can get so lovey-dovey and cosy in the restaurants, parks and even in office, but yet go back to different homes, different lives, at the end of the day.
And yet, when she started with the “marriage talks“, I started getting cold in my feet! No, I am not afraid of “commitment“. And I am sure she can vouch for that. But, I just do not know how to figure when it’s the “right time” to get wedded. I mean, shouldn’t you be worrying about your future? Shouldn’t you be a bit practical and take a peek at your savings account, before you decide to take the plunge? Shouldn’t you have a clear future plan, at least for the next 10 years, before you decide to take the vow? Shouldn’t you first let both set of the parents get comfortable with each other, before you decide to encircle the fire 7 times? Shouldn’t you be asking yourself, “Buddy, are you ready for it?”
No, I do not wanna chicken out. Rather, I wanna get into it as bad as it can get. But the problem is, I just do not know if it’s time. I do not know whether we are following the right “protocols“. I do not know whether I would still want a marriage if we were allowed to live together, under the same roof, and if society accepted us as any other married couple. I do not know if I’d ever wanna elope with her, in case either of our parents do not give in to our relationship. Neither do I know if I shall be able to keep her happy, after we get married.
All I know is, I love her. Yes, I do love her, goddammit!!
Yes, you are right. My life is fucked!
But then again, I have her, to make my life beautiful again!
This blog is basically a chronicle of my life, and my emotions, since the time I first left home, in search of the oblivion, in quest of my ultimate goal. This blog has a lot of my memories that still manages to churn out a plethora of emotions within me, every time I wade through the cobwebs of my memory. While I was just a little teenager when I started with it, today I am in the transition phase of being a man of my own stature. And the journey still continues.
09/01/2010 at 20:16 Permalink
09/01/2010 at 23:15 Permalink
I am the She..!! And I am totally outta words. I agree with each of his words. The only thing I know is, that, I want to be with to be happy. Marriage or no marriage… I love you sweetheart, and this post made me realize the distance between us. totally.
09/01/2010 at 23:45 Permalink
that was sweet ^_^
+ lolz.. protocols.. stuck there myself
in a way..
09/01/2010 at 23:56 Permalink
Aal izz Well… Aal izz Well !! :-*
10/01/2010 at 00:09 Permalink
Dang! I guess I need to send this email along with Sakshi’s rpely to my girl. If at all it works.
God bless you both!
10/01/2010 at 00:15 Permalink
is it? what’s your story, anyway?
10/01/2010 at 11:32 Permalink
hey cngrts to bth of you…..
10/01/2010 at 11:35 Permalink
Congrats? On what?
10/01/2010 at 14:32 Permalink
nothing really complicated.. everyone knows about my relationship.. her family.. and mine.. we are just stuck doing different things in life.. and now we have to figure out how to get married and be together actually
10/01/2010 at 15:07 Permalink
lol. Wish you all the luck, buddy. By the way, you do plan to move out of Delhi some day, I gather. Innit?
10/01/2010 at 15:08 Permalink
Tell me about living far away from the guy I love!
It’s close to impossible sometimes, especially ‘cos he stays in another country, far far away. But it’s the hope for our life together that keeps us going.
Protocol or no protocol, two people in love should be together. so FIX IT! 
10/01/2010 at 17:45 Permalink
cngrts on having that gr8 feelig of luv itself…keep that candle of love always on ….forever …
10/01/2010 at 20:49 Permalink
The third para…AWESOME and totally true!! Its crazy. Me and my boyfriend sometimes wonder if we were in the USA and could live-in together…its just so hard not being with each other all the time!
10/01/2010 at 22:55 Permalink
It wasn’t really an email, but I got your drift
Never knew u too were in a relationship. Wish you all the best, man. So, u planning to tie the knot soon?
10/01/2010 at 22:56 Permalink
whoa! “candle of love” and all, eh? Thanks for the wishes, though :-p
10/01/2010 at 22:58 Permalink
@Ki & @Shalini: I am wondering, you both are also in a long distance relationship? Oh man, suddenly, how I wish the world hadn’t become a ‘small’ place, after all. Then you would at least fall in love with the one just next door, or next building :-p
11/01/2010 at 16:21 Permalink
Its been 7 years v know each other & u have changed. Its a nice change. I think ul b the 1st one to tie the knot off all of us. If its by 2k11, il drink that day.
al the best. If u want to run n marry den m there to give all type of support
11/01/2010 at 16:27 Permalink
Dude, u r a gem of a friend, man! Truthfully, I had never believed that we would “click”. I guess my 1.5 years of extra stay, in Jsr, changed the equation.
Anyway, I guess you are surely gonna be drinking when I get married. And yeah, you are gonna get to dance with Sakshi, too
In a way, that’s good. ‘Coz I got two left feet :-p
11/01/2010 at 17:16 Permalink
@ Raj and Shayon
That is nice… you guys can’t just anything on my marriage. Shayon won’t do anything anyways coz he is too lazy… but Raj like really, I am looking forward to your getting drunk and our dance…!!
Btw- Shayon ji- I couldn’t agree with Raj more- its a NICE change. I like it.
11/01/2010 at 17:17 Permalink
And, well, both of you are crazy and I think that we should repost this on TWM.
11/01/2010 at 17:36 Permalink
hey.. no re-posting. If they wish, they can come to this blog and read it.
12/01/2010 at 08:49 Permalink
Shyon Bhai Sahab ji, You, my man, are now doomed for life.
Run, while you still can!
Good luck both of you! Now I’m going to open my closet and decide what I’ll wear to your wedding. And I will go to Sakshi’s blog and comment that Shayon is so sweet and you’re very lucky blah blah.
But dude, Run! Run! Run!
Don’t ruin your life! Go!
Good luck! I want an invite to the wedding!
12/01/2010 at 08:51 Permalink
Oh and by the way, Long distance is way better than being too close and having her pop over every day looking for food and every evening with laundry to be done. Trust me. My girl choses each night for dinner between what her mother makes and what I make!
BAH!
Women!
Sheesh!
Be happy dude! Long distance is good!
Atleast you don’t have to do the dishes each night!
12/01/2010 at 13:00 Permalink
RAMIT!!! You are outrageous!!! But never mind. BTW- Decide which side you wanna be on, accordingly you will get the invite (which is BTW- some time off)
On the RECORD-
I can’t cook, but Shayon cooks coz he likes to. And, I like doing dishes, so, I used to do em, if there was a need. (EVER heard of a maid… )
12/01/2010 at 20:21 Permalink
Truly touching. I am also currently in a similar situation, except that for me its too early for a marriage and that we are (geographically) separated by some seven seas. Initial few months seemed quite a bit to bear, but am currently trying to get used to reality. Looking ahead….
12/01/2010 at 22:57 Permalink
SAKSHI!!! I know I am outrageous! But that advice was sensible, even if I cannot stop laughing!
Hmmm, Are you sure you even want me to be at your wedding?
Hmmmm…
Why is Shayon Bhaiya ji so quiet? Hein ji?
13/01/2010 at 11:19 Permalink
Frankly, I had no clue on what I should be writing. Hence, kept my trap shut. You ask me to run. Even I am in half a mind to do it. But alas! Never before have I come across such bastard chains that, despite being non-tangible and invisible, keep me in tow so securely. Got no clue how to release myself off them. And what more, I ain’t even sure if I’d wanna get released :-p
And well, as and when I get wedded, you are surely invited. As for Ms Sakshi’s invitation, you shall have to enquire yourself
13/01/2010 at 11:20 Permalink
Seven seas? OMG! which continent is she in? (I am assuming it’s a she. And no, I ain’t homophobic. :-p)
13/01/2010 at 11:52 Permalink
Hey man, All the Best and do let us know what were the factors and the benchmarking value , based on which you will take the decison…( i am sorry, this is just my analyst mind speaking)…..cheers!!
13/01/2010 at 12:03 Permalink
Oh my! I get that analyst mind to work, in my “decision making”, and there will be no “decision” at all
13/01/2010 at 12:11 Permalink
Oh, I meant send this article as an Email! Yeah, it’s been almost 2 years now! You missed out on the Samsung Bloggers’ meet this time at Khan Market. Took here there as well. She’s not a weboholic like us. Nothing beyond emails and MS exchange at work!
Knots! Good question. No answers for now1 Atleast not this year.
13/01/2010 at 20:49 Permalink
She’s in USA… studying!!
13/01/2010 at 23:47 Permalink
Run bhai! Bhaaaaaag ja!
No, I cannot see another guy ruin his life and get married!
I pity you.
14/01/2010 at 14:20 Permalink
oh my… the other side of the earth, eh? Wish you all the best, man!
14/01/2010 at 14:21 Permalink
hehe! I am doing pretty good though
14/01/2010 at 19:33 Permalink
*congrats
errr..houston…. we got..a situation…another bachelor.. nearing escape velocity..
14/01/2010 at 19:52 Permalink
Kudos to you’ll! It’s gonna be real fun for a wedding like this- especially since we’ve known eachother this long! And I didn’t even realise it’s been 7 years! My, my! How the years have flown by.
And Shayon, if you want us to read this post then you should have given some indication to its existence (like Sakshi did)! I don’t visit this blog on a regular basis!
14/01/2010 at 20:27 Permalink
I was here..
Lovely outburst..
14/01/2010 at 20:47 Permalink
That’s because you’re not married yet dude! I feel for you!
As a male human being, it is my responsibility to encourage you to run!
Bhaaag bhai bhaaag!
14/01/2010 at 21:09 Permalink
things are more difficult than they look…and look easier than they seem…
….anyways,..thanks for adding me to your reading list..:)