It doesn’t matter whether you are in a relationship or not, chances are you have already been asked the above three words by your lover, life partner, or even your friend. Well, here’s a little story that might amuse you.
Disclaimer: The following content is a work of pure (non)fiction. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely intentional.
Day 1
Boy: (after hanging up the phone) Guess what? I was just speaking with Reshma, the hot chick in my office I told you about?
Girl: Uh…huh!
Boy: That was pretty cold. Aren’t you Jealous?
Girl: Because you feel like wagging your tail before a bimbo? Excuse me, please don’t insult my intelligence.
Day 2
Boy: (comes home and drops the car keys on the table) Guess what? Had gone out with Reshma today, for lunch. Had a really good time.
Girl: Good to see you’re connecting well with your colleagues.
Boy: How could you be so insensitive? Aren’t you Jealous?
Girl: Because you had a good time, having lunch, with another girl? What, you expect me to chain you down?
Day 3
Boy: Sorry I couldn’t attend your call. I was with Reshma and she would feel bad if I just started talking to you, out of the blue.
Girl: Ohh..okay, I didn’t know that. Next time, just shoot an sms, okay?
Boy: What the hell? I just told you that I did not pick up your phone call because I was with another girl. Aren’t you Jealous?
Girl: I am just glad that you told me about it, rather than making a cock-a-bull story about it.
Day 4
Boy: Sweetheart, I am really sorry how things happened. I ended up sleeping with Reshma, yesterday!
Girl: Do you love her?
Boy: Hardly. She’s a weird chick with huge boobs, but a fucked up mind, a fucked up life.
Girl: Do you think you can keep her out of our lives?
Boy: I would do anything to keep you happy, sweetheart.
Girl: The question is not about me, it’s about your intentions, and your feelings.
Boy: Umm…aren’t you Jealous?
Girl: If you sleep with her and then come back to me saying that she has a fucked up life, nah, I wouldn’t wanna be in her shoes. I am better off.
Day 5
Boy: Sweetheart, I am really sorry how things happened. I ended up sleeping with Reshma, yesterday!
Girl: Do you love her?
Boy: I think so. I mean, I feel so serene and calm, with her around. And I crave for her every day. I do not know how things got so muddled up, sweetheart!
Girl: Uh…huh!
Boy: Huh? Aren’t you Jealous?
Girl: I am surprised that you still feel the need to know the answer to this question. Does that really matter?
There ain’t really any “moral of the story” here. Kindly just treat it as a short idiosyncrasy of mine. Just wanted to write about it because I was always very confused about the difference between being possessive and being jealous. I was always confused about why do people need to answer to the question “Aren’t you Jealous?” I am confused about why people do not understand that love ain’t bad. More people you can share love with, better is the life you lead. Unfortunately, all of us have a tendency to “book” things for ourselves. Be it your favorite bike, your computer, your spouse, your parents – there are some things we always refuse to share. And yes, I shall admit that I too belong to the same cadre of mortals. But my question is, why can we not share with all our heart? Why do we always have to keep at least one single thing for ourselves, just ourselves?
P.S – I understand that this blog post borders around the so-called established norms of morality. But then again, there was a time when even Sati pratha was a norm. It took someone like Raja Ram Mohan Roy to stand up against it, and change the rules for ever. Nah, I don’t plan to change anything here. At least, not unless I have a clearer idea of the answer to my questions and concerns.
And yes, credits for inspiring me for this post goes to blog posts by The Bald Guy, Uncle J, and my own life.
This blog is basically a chronicle of my life, and my emotions, since the time I first left home, in search of the oblivion, in quest of my ultimate goal. This blog has a lot of my memories that still manages to churn out a plethora of emotions within me, every time I wade through the cobwebs of my memory. While I was just a little teenager when I started with it, today I am in the transition phase of being a man of my own stature. And the journey still continues.
27/03/2010 at 07:57 Permalink
Shayon, visiting your blog for the first time. Got the link from a friend's Orkut profile.
You write good. Have been going through the last couple of posts you have written and I have a feeling you must have gone through an ordeal very recently, and still trying your best to get out of it. However, somehow, after going through last couple of posts of yours, a few ideas have also started to form, in my head. Of course, since I can very well see that you are being cryptic about your emotions, I shall not mention it aloud myself.
In this blog post you wrote about having to answer to the question "Aren't you Jealous?" Well, the way I see it, every person would like to gauge how much she is loved, how much she's cared for. It is important for every person to always be reminded of how much she is loved. And hence the question, ever and ever again. I think it doesn't matter how stable your relationship gets, you should always keep exhibiting your love. Saying "I love you" everyday surely works. But showing jealousy, even if fake, also works. If he really loves you, he will always understand that you are faking it, and yet he would be happy that at least you showed.
As for sharing your boyfriend with someone else, even the swinging couples do not tolerate close emotional connection with other partners. If you are on a road to change all that, the asylum is where you are headed, honey.
27/03/2010 at 10:17 Permalink
Hi,
You are more than welcome you write about your reactions on your own blog, or even on my own. What the find beautiful about blogging is that the ideas never cease to flow. And that helps with the intellectual intercourse. That's something I am a big sucker for.
As for TBG, I haven't been following his blog for a long time. But recently, I think I feel compelled to comment a bit more than usual. I guess, he always manages to strike me right where I feel the most.
27/03/2010 at 06:56 Permalink
I am one person who really think that the society is because of its people and not the other way round. The change always comes when thinking of the people change, which is something that is not happening here in India till a politician supports it.
Well, I think love is a very personal emotion. Loving something in general is different than loving someone special. As a matter of fact, you do share your love with your parents, when small with siblings then later spouse and children. And you do share the spouse love also with their parents and your children.
But then that is different. There is someone always also wanting the personal attention. I know of someone who always says, that physical infidelity can still be overlooked but emotional infidelity can't really be forgiven. And I agree. To have a good time, a good conversation with friends and family is absolutely awesome. But there is always a 'very personal' part of your heart that you normally don't share with anyone but that someone special. And when that special part is shared with someone else, well it does hurt. And, No I do not understand the difference between being J and being P. And I dunno if this comment makes any sense at all…
Nicely written.
27/03/2010 at 09:13 Permalink
Quoting you, "which is something that is not happening here in India till a politician supports it."
….if you think it needs a politician to be able to change a thought, I think that's unfortunate. However, look around you, and look at the history that precedes us. People like Aristotle, Ben Hur, Einstein, Karl Marx, etc weren't really politicians. Yes, they were leaders, but that's because they led people with their thoughts. People followed their beliefs. Gradually it went on to become a movement and thus brought change in the society. And well, everybody can be a leader – you, me, even my mother. What matters is how much can you inspire your fellow men, with your own beliefs.
Again, quoting you, "physical infidelity can still be overlooked but emotional infidelity can't really be forgiven"
….I say, physical infidelity is easier to live with, than the emotional one. But then again, as I had commented on Uncle J's blog, it all depends on the two people themselves, who are involved in that relationship. No one else shall ever be able to decide for them. In case you need more conviction on this belief of mine, you can read my earlier post, "What I Learnt Today"
"And when that special part is shared with someone else, well it does hurt."
….i know it very well that it hurts. My question is whether it can be stopped. Whether that hurting process can be annihilated!
27/03/2010 at 09:19 Permalink
Firstly, thank your friend who chose to advertise the link to my blog. And thank you for liking my "literary skiils".
I have been cryptic about my emotions? Well, you aren't too far off. But then again, my blog is a mirror to my soul. So, if there's anything you would wanna ask me, please go ahead. In case it's something I'd prefer not to get public, I shall surely, at least, email you with my reply.
I guess I do kinda understand when you say that it is important to keep reminding your better half how you feel about her… but then again, when relationships "mature", aren't the people supposed to understand each others' behavioral patterns? I mean, someone might be very romantic and all, and the other could be a complete brick-head, right? But then, after a point, I thought both the people in a relationship start understanding each other, each other's whims, strengths, and weaknesses. Of course, if divorces happen just because someone forgot to say I love you one single day, the relationship was definitely not mature enough.
27/03/2010 at 09:33 Permalink
Oh, just another thing. Remember the "Pink Chaddi" Campaign? Which politician lead it? And yet it did raise the awareness, AND the hatred against the incident in Mysore (or was it some other city with M?), didn't it?
27/03/2010 at 09:35 Permalink
"My question is whether it can be stopped. Whether that hurting process can be annihilated!"
I think that the hurt can't completely go away. Somewhere it does keep coming back to you. But yeah, love can definitely make the hurt grow lesser with time. Or so I hope.
27/03/2010 at 09:42 Permalink
I am one person who really think that the society is because of its people and not the other way round. The change always comes when thinking of the people change, which is something that is not happening here in India till a politician supports it.
27/03/2010 at 09:42 Permalink
Well, here I would just like to say, that the these campaigns had a great start, but they fizzled out because of lack of enthu, and the strong opposition by politicos. They suppressed the entire campaign by using saam, daam dand bhed…
27/03/2010 at 09:55 Permalink
Shayon,
Very interesting take on my post. I navigated to T B G too and read what he had to say. I am yet to fulfil my promise to visit him as he has been to my space a few times. I will read his other posts too and leave my comments on the latest post. I will also reply to your rejoinder to my reply in my post soon.
Now coming to your post. There are too many issues and my view may be longer than your post itself. You have set my mind in high gear so I think I will write it as a post in my space soon and let you all read it.
Take care
27/03/2010 at 10:57 Permalink
Not every campaign goes ahead to bring about change, but it's the little efforts that count, in the long run.
27/03/2010 at 10:59 Permalink
A very recent campaign I can think of is the "Earth hour". How many people do you think would follow it? And yet, some people do it with the hope that the trend and awareness will catch on. And it surely does. The number always increase, the next time.
27/03/2010 at 10:59 Permalink
basically… it might, someday, tend to zero… but shall never be zero, eh? Sigh! :-p
29/03/2010 at 14:17 Permalink
Shayon!
I've yet to meet a girl how wouldn't have torn the guys head off after 'Day 1'! So to me, that story is the work of fiction (most likely that of a deluded man, ha ha ha ha ha ha- one who wants and hopes for a girl friend like that!).
Anyway, nice post.
I would have to disagree with the fact that you don't want to share that one thing in life. According to me, 'Love' isn't just sleeping with another girl (or guy, if that's your thing). Love is a form of affection/feeling between any number of combination of the following people (man, woman, child, parent, friend, etc.). So even down the line if/when I get married, I will have to share my 'wife' with others, including her parents, siblings, friends and most of all our children.
And how can you compare Monogamy to Sati. I understand the fomer lead to the latter, but still man!
Peace!
D
29/03/2010 at 16:34 Permalink
Lolz… I couldn't agree with you more… but you completely lost the point here, man
The kinda "love" you spoke of wasn't the kind of "love" I meant
Anyway, good to see you on my blog. And well, I didn't compare Monogamy to Sati, I just brought it in as another societal policy that people used to follow. That is it.
04/04/2010 at 11:57 Permalink
real nice post!! I loved the story., i totally agree with the girl
me too!!
yeah and there is a very small difference between being possesive and jealous. and its worse when you start doubting the person. btw, you from bangalore?
04/04/2010 at 22:28 Permalink
Hi Harini,
First, thanks for dropping by
Well, what do you mean by “doubting the person”? Where exactly did that come from?
Moreover, I ain’t really from B’lore, but have been staying here since December. Moved in when I switched my job. So, where in B’lore are you from?